As we step out of “pandemania,” a term coined by Charles Eisenstein, many of us are wondering, “What’s next?”
We might be wondering what’s next for our career, where we live, our relationships, our health, or our general future plans.
Many clients and friends I speak with are wondering at an even deeper level with questions like “Who am I?” and “What really matters to me now?”
The last couple of years have shaken us to the core, causing us to question what’s real, what we truly need, what we want for our life and our future, and how we want to show up moving forward.
I’m trained as an ontological coach, and ontology is the nature of being.
How do you long to be? Who do you long to be? Are you tapped into the True Nature of your being as we move through the transitions humanity is experiencing?
These are questions that, while wonderful to ponder, could also drive us crazy trying to answer!
Sometimes these types of questions show up in our life to serve as a catalyst for stepping back, shifting our perspective, and opening ourselves to something different.
If you’re anything like me, you want to know what that “different” is, and you want to know now. We’re so used to finding answers and staying busy that few of us know how to allow things to be revealed or unfold in their own timing. Even those of us who think we’re balanced with lots of “time off” and activity outside of our careers are often still so busy with this or that thing to do or attend that we rarely allow ourselves to be with the stillness of our deeper thoughts.
So few people are ok with alone time or quiet.
If we’re going to find our way forward, we need to create Sacred Pause for ourselves, and I’d like to offer some of my favorite tools for entering and/or practicing to find this space.
Mindfulness has so many different definitions, but for me it’s ultimately about holistic awareness. Are we aware of what we’re doing, saying, and expressing? Tapping into awareness is in itself a Sacred Pause.
Awareness requires that we step back and observe ourselves from a bird’s eye view, noticing our behaviors, patterns, habits, words, emotions, self-talk, etc. in the various domains of our life.
Start small. It’s not helpful to try and be mindful about everything all the time. Begin with noticing what triggers you. When you feel your heart sink, your anger rise up, your frustration or overwhelm take over, allow yourself to simply notice it. There’s nothing to do but notice. Simply noticing will go a long way in cultivating mindfulness.
What was the trigger? What’s the story you’re telling yourself about the trigger? What are you saying about or to yourself? What emotions show up? What do you wish would happen?
Be completely real with yourself in your noticing. There’s nothing mindful about sugar-coating what you’re really thinking and feeling.
Mindfulness is a powerful way to tap into your own Inner Wisdom and begin hearing messages or seeing signs that perhaps you hadn’t noticed before, and that will often reveal hints of what’s needed in this moment or for the future.
Mindset is different from mindfulness in that mindset is how our mind is “set” to respond (or not) to various circumstances.
Our thoughts generate emotions, and in turn the emotions often determine our actions.
We might think, “Nothing works out for me,” which then triggers an emotion such as sluggishness or melancholy, which then has us doom scrolling instead of doing what we’d planned to do today. Certainly not much will work out if that’s our created action. Or maybe the emotion that comes up is anxiety or anger because we fear we can’t have success in our life, which then has us acting in ways that push away opportunities for things to work out.
Our mindset is the way our thoughts are “set,” which is created through repetition of thought.
The cool thing is that we have the power and freedom to change our mindset at will if we choose to!
The only way to change mindset is to consistently practice new ways of thinking. Mindfulness can be a very helpful tool in helping us to notice the thoughts we currently have so we can choose new thoughts, and thus create new actions that actually bring new results.
You might enjoy my YouTube video, Mindfulness vs Mindset on this topic too!
While it may not seem like balance is a way to find our way forward and create Sacred Pause, it’s actually a far too overlooked consideration.
You see, when we’re out of balance, we’re usually out of alignment with our True Nature, and that in itself will keep us stuck.
We often find ourselves clinging to one extreme or another, or bouncing back and forth between extremes desperately trying to find our answers. In order to find the balance point of empowerment, we need to see the extremes we’re visiting, get to know them, and understand how they can actually help us to find the balance of our True Nature.
My Balance and Empowerment Cards are a wonderful free resource to help you do this.
Working with the cards, you’ll see how you might fall into extremes of false power or false powerlessness, neither of which will allow you to embody your true balance point of empowerment.
Balance is not about having everything be “equal” in your life. It’s about navigating life’s extremes and finding a dynamic center that feels grounded, stable and empowered for our unique Soul’s path forward.
Why would the Sacred Feminine help us to find our way forward and generate Sacred Pause?
First of all, the healthy feminine has a beautiful diffuse awareness that is by nature holistic. Connecting more to the feminine aspects of our being and of life will naturally help us to become more mindful and balanced.
Our patriarchal dominance culture has us pushing forward, constantly focusing on goals and next steps. This culture has created the noise we’re constantly bombarded with, and created a belief within us that it’s not ok to pause, miss out or be still.
The Sacred Feminine knows how to be in stillness, aloneness, and quiet. She’s willing to go to the depths and meet the shadows in order to know Herself more. She’s willing to let go and surrender into spaces of unknown and discomfort, with the knowing that out of darkness and chaos, creation manifests. She’s willing to come face to face with all that stands in her way, taming the dragons one by one in order to harness their energy to help Her move forward.
Are you willing to be alone? Are you able to be uncomfortable? Are you willing to face the ugliness that holds you back?
The Sacred Feminine can be a loving, supportive guide to connect with as you consider these questions and find comfort in discomfort.
Of course there are countless ways in which we can move forward and create Sacred Pause.
There’s meditation, journaling, Nature time, and other Soul nourishing practices. I share these four…mindfulness, mindset, balance and Sacred Feminine…because I’ve found in my life that they are practices that help us at the root of many of life’s challenges. They’re usually missing in some way, which is why it can be hard to meditate, get ourselves out to be with Nature, or do other things we know can be beneficial.
I hope you’ll explore even one of these ideas for finding your way forward and creating the life you know is possible for yourself!
May we all find the Sacred Pause to find the way forward in alignment with our True Nature.