Do Healthy Relationships Have Problems? - Kim Marie Coaching

Do Healthy Relationships Have Problems?

If your relationship is experiencing difficulties, does that imply that it’s unhealthy? Or is something amiss? In this article, we’ll delve into the misconceptions surrounding the concept of a healthy relationship, discovering how we handle and solve problems in relationships.

How Do We Define “Problems”?

I found myself intrigued by the concept of problems. Often, we assume that if a problem arises, it indicates a flaw within ourselves, the relationship, or the situation at hand.

However, the true definition of a problem is, “a thing put forth.” It’s something put forward for us to look at. Thus, the problem itself is not inherently problematic. Instead, it serves as an opportunity for reflection, a matter we are called to examine. It offers a chance for growth, a challenge to overcome, and even a tool for learning. The problem is not something to be feared, avoided, or deemed inherently wrong. 

Yes, healthy relationships encounter problems, just as life does. Constantly, something is presented before us. We can choose to view it negatively, perceiving it as a burden. Alternatively, we can recognize it as an entity placed in our path, beckoning us to address, confront, and derive wisdom from it.

Problems are a part of our life. They’re part of relationships. They’re perfectly acceptable. I believe if we never face them, or never experience anything put in front of us that is some kind of obstacle or challenge, we’re likely hiding out from life. We’re ignoring things.

Healthy relationships have problems. 

How Do We Handle Problems In Relationships?

The presence of problems within a healthy relationship is not the primary concern. What truly matters is our approach to these challenges that lie before us.

How do we act in such situations?

Do we respond in a healthy manner, taking the time to assess the situation, determine the best course of action, and engage in open and effective communication? Do we step back and seek multiple perspectives, striving to understand one another and remaining open to the possibilities that emerge?

Or do we merely react? Reacting implies a hasty response filled with questions like, “What the heck? Why is that happening? Why did you do that? Who said this was okay?”

We jump to conclusions. We think it’s not okay to have something be put forth, or have a challenge put in our way. Nobody wants something to block us. We want things to move smoothly. Yet, it’s those challenges that help us grow. With a shift in perspective, we can learn to embrace and appreciate them, responding from a standpoint of curiosity, wondering what lessons and growth opportunities lie within them. We can anticipate the sense of accomplishment that awaits us as we navigate through these challenges.

It’s crucial to recognize that problems and challenges are there to help us move forward and grow.

They are a natural part of healthy relationships and life itself. What really matters is how we’re responding to the challenges we face. 

How Can We Fix the Problems In Our Relationships?

Three essential tools for effectively navigating problems in relationships are communication, compassion, and connection.

Firstly, communication is crucial. It involves asking questions and seeking information instead of assuming we know everything or fully understand the situation. Before making assumptions, it is important to ask the necessary questions. 

When problems arise in a relationship, it is essential to approach them with compassion. Avoid jumping to conclusions about others’ awareness, perceptions, or intentions. We must resist automatically assuming whether something was done intentionally or consciously, as there is often a complex interplay of subconscious factors at play. When we approach relationships with compassion, we’re better equipped to navigate through problems and challenges. Compassion fosters understanding and empathy, enabling us to address issues more effectively.

The third tool is connection. It’s essential to stay connected to our own selves, ensuring we do not lose our individuality within the dynamics of the relationship. Connection also involves genuinely asking productive questions that aid in understanding, growth, and discovery. Strive to establish connection with others based on compassion and understanding. By bringing love and wisdom into the equation, we can foster healthier relationships and navigate through problems more successfully.

Problems are a normal part of healthy relationships. They are simply situations presented to us, offering opportunities for learning, growth, and exploration. 

With communication, compassion, and connection, we can propel ourselves and our relationships forward. Ultimately, this can be achieved by maintaining a connection to our personal truth, values, and identity while also fostering connections with those around us.

I hope this is helpful. I’d love to hear in the comments what makes or doesn’t make you think problems are a part of a relationship? 

Do you think healthy relationships should never have problems, or if they have problems, do you think the problem in itself is a sign of the relationship not working? 

How do you face problems in your relationship? 

I’d be happy to write other articles about specific types of problems you’re wondering how to navigate, so let me know what they are. Let’s explore what’s possible in those areas and see what we can create together to feel more empowered.

For a video version of, Do Healthy Relationships Have Problems?, watch here:

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