Nature’s Support to Stay the Course
In my constant striving to align with Nature, I’ve been able to see how various seasons impact me differently, and recognize which ones guide me more potently at certain times in my life.
I began with my deep love of the holiday season, which in turn led me to create my Sacred Nights of Winter Journal as a way of bringing even more meaning to the darkest time in the year, and helping both me and my fellow journalers to be as well prepared for the new year as possible.
The dark nights of winter were like a healing balm for me.
Though some years felt more difficult than others to navigate, sometimes filled with exceptional intensity of the Underworld being visited at this time, every year I would find a sense of peace as I entered the new year, provided I remained dedicated to my journey through the Sacred Nights of Winter.
The Sacred Nights of Winter, and seasons of Yule, Winter Solstice and Christmas, were my growth focus for many years. This time in the year was when I felt the most inner transformation happening, sometimes with beautiful insights and amazing revelations, and sometimes with deep pain, grief, anger or other intense discomfort I needed to move through.
I could always rely on my time in the womb of the Great Mother as a time for growth, expansion and revelation.
Eventually, I found myself having a strong affinity for the Autumn Equinox time, with the seasons of Celtic Mabon and Michaelmas.
Similar to the ebb and flow of the Sacred Nights, some Autumn seasons were filled with intense dragons to tame, and others were more about the cultivation of courage and a gentler process of letting go.
I came to enjoy the Bountiful Harvest always available at this time, learning to find it even when it seemed like there was little there to gather.
In most recent years, I’ve found that this current season of Imbolc/Candlemas, the time from February 1st to roughly the Spring Equinox, has been the most challenging and growth catalyzing season in the year for me.
When Life Feels Hard
If I’m being totally honest, I’m not liking Imbolc so much these days…at least not on the surface.
The deeper, Inner Wise Woman in me loves it, for She knows the gifts of being polished on the polishing wheel or cut and carved into the shape of realized potential.
But that doesn’t always make the experience easier.
These past few years, I’ve felt the discomfort of confusion, uncertainty, wondering what’s next, and the deep longing to know!
What is it about not knowing that makes us so uncomfortable?
Perhaps the fact that our dominance and control culture insists on answers, prediction, and control of outcomes. Yet this is not the way of the Feminine.
The Sacred Feminine teaches us to sit with uncertainty, to trust the process, to enjoy the journey without needing to see the destination just yet.
As we learn to embrace and integrate more of the Feminine in our lives, this is what we can expect. Anytime we are learning new ways of being, i.e. a new ontology for ourselves, there will be discomfort.
I sometimes feel like learning to truly allow Feminine Wisdom to live and breathe within me is discomfort on steroids!
Support for Staying the Course
What’s been bringing me the most comfort of late is the reminder to surrender, and my Soul Planner.
In the reminder to surrender, I allow myself to be with the discomfort. I imagine myself leaning back, resting myself in the bosom of the Great Mother, with her loving arms gently wrapped around me.
I remember that I am held.
In this space, I don’t need to figure anything out. I don’t need to find answers. I don’t need to know.
In this space, I learn to be content with letting this time be a space for research, exploration, wonder and curiosity.
I wonder what will come of this?
I wonder what information I can learn about that?
I wonder how I will adapt to this change?
When I feel the need to do something, too uncomfortable to simply be, I choose to learn and discover rather than seek answers or make anything happen.
I choose to, but am not always successful in resisting the tempation to force.
This is where my Soul Planner has proven to be so helpful.
As I cultivate my curiosity and exploration, I use the plentiful open spaces in the planner to contemplate a question, jot down something I’ve looked up and learned, make lists of things I can then ponder and explore even more deeply.
Having this space, in addition to the structure to plan my days, weeks, and months, has been a godsend during this time of uncertainty and discomfort. What’s even more wonderful is that I’m capturing so much inspiration that I otherwise often miss because I get stuck in the muck of not knowing and needing to know.
Finding Our Way
My youngest son is graduating high school this year. He just went off to perform in the All State Choir for Colorado, pausing from his duties as Captain of his basketball team to express a different side of himself.
My oldest son graduated high school 3 years ago and is doing an amazing job exploring his entrepreneurial skills. Both are becoming so independent.
While my dream has always been to launch my children into the world attuned to their Inner Wisdom, filled with kindness and love, and creating with their own unique expression of their authentic Selves, I must confess that not being “needed” so much anymore is challenging.
I’d like to think that as their mother, I’ll always be needed. But I know it will never be in the same way.
I’m feeling a mix of deep pride and deep grief as I consider that my babies are ready to step into the world on their own. I feel so proud of who they’ve become and are becoming. I pray they will stay true to and take good care of themselves.
I pray I will be able to let go with grace, and allow the uncertainty of the future to reveal itself in its due time.
I hope my sharing of my personal Imbolc experience, and these contemplations, will support you in finding comfort if this season is kicking your arse like it’s been kicking mine in recent years!
Just as in years and other seasons before, I know I’ll get through this.
I know the seed will pierce the surface, even if the cracking open and coming undone that precedes the sprouting is exceptionally uncomfortable. I also know I’ll be stronger for it, and amazing insights will emerge.
The same is true for all of us, no matter which season might be supporting or challenging us at any particular time in our lives.
Remember that the seasons and their magic are there to support and guide us.
May we all surrender to the Great Mother, and trust in Her work and our becoming!