Healthy Relationships: How to Get Your Needs Met in Relationships & in Life - Kim Marie Coaching

Healthy Relationships: How to Get Your Needs Met in Relationships & in Life

The Challenge of Getting Our Needs Met

Do you ever find yourself struggling to have your needs met? 

I personally haven’t come across any women who don’t experience such struggles at times. In my coaching/mentoring and group work, many individuals express feelings of not feeling seen or heard. They often struggle to effectively communicate their true needs and desires to their partners.

I’d like to share a few thoughts with you. These ideas and questions can serve as journaling prompts for reflection. I encourage you to delve deep into them. Take some time for yourself to contemplate these questions. 

Based on my own experience and that of my clients, I’ve noticed that although I assign these tasks as homework, they often remain unfinished. Yet, they’re among the most crucial steps we can take to ensure our needs are met, enabling us to be seen and heard.

A Key to Get Clear On Your Needs

First, it’s important to ask yourself: Do you truly know what you want? 

This may seem like a fundamental question, as you might say, “I want my needs to be met.” However, it’s essential to gain a clear understanding of your desires, aspirations, and objectives. 

By knowing what you want, you become more capable of effectively communicating your needs to others.

Naturally, if we don’t express our needs, no one will be aware of them, leaving us unfulfilled.

The initial step to become clear on what you want is to dedicate time to yourself. 

Listen attentively to the depths of your being and ask, “What do I truly desire in my life, at this very moment, and in my future?” This practice can be applied to any situation in which you find yourself grappling with unmet needs. 

It’s so important to ascertain what you genuinely want and to cultivate absolute clarity in that regard.

Intentions and Energy as Important Considerations to Getting Your Needs Met

Another crucial aspect to consider is the underlying intention behind our desires. 

At times, we may want certain things due to underlying feelings of passive aggression or the desire to exert control and dominance. 

Such energy can be sensed by others, affecting the way our needs are received. I vividly remember my mother frequently falling into this pattern. Her need for control over every detail of life, coupled with a deep sense of personal turmoil, often resulted in her attempts to have her needs met being tainted with an energy that conveyed messages like, “You’re not enough,” or “You need to do more,” placing the blame on others for not hearing her.

It’s essential to assess the energy we bring to the table. 

What’s the true intention behind your desires? Are they genuine wants and needs, or are they a reaction against your current circumstances? 

When we find ourselves in situations where our needs are unmet, it’s common to feel a sense of resentment. Unfortunately, this resentment can seep into our energy and influence the way we approach getting our needs met.

Hence, it’s necessary to examine our intentions. Are we genuinely seeking what we want and need, or are we acting from a place of wanting to control the situation? This self-inquiry is a significant support in understanding ourselves.

Reaching Out for the Support You Need

Another significant aspect for getting your needs met is the idea of trust, surrender, and letting go. 

When we’’re clear about our wants, approaching them with the right intentions, positive energy, and a good vibration, we can trust that the Universe, or Source, will meet us halfway. The Great Mystery of life will guide us on how to fulfill our needs. However, it’s important to remember that this process requires our active participation. 

We must ask for help.

I can’t stress enough how many times I’ve observed people, including myself, going about their daily lives, listing all the tasks that need to be done without ever requesting assistance. There’s often a lack of explicit communication about what we need, by when, and in what way. 

However, when we express our needs clearly and directly, while also approaching others with gratitude and respect, we’ll find that most people are willing and happy to lend a hand. Yet, without that clarity and understanding of our own needs, it’s unreasonable to expect others to know and fulfill them. 

We must ground ourselves in what we truly want and need, and actively make requests, asking for help when necessary. 

It’s critical to avoid approaching these requests with resentment or an assumption that others should’ve already known what we needed.

To truly get our needs met, we need to take responsibility for communicating them effectively. We must shift our mindset from expecting others to read our minds to proactively expressing our desires and seeking assistance when required.

What You Must Be Willing to Do to Get Your Needs Met

Finally, I’d like to emphasize that if you truly want to have your needs met, you must be open and willing to receive. 

Being receptive to what others are willing to give you is essential. 

This may require letting go of some perfectionism and control tendencies. Personally, I understand the inclination to want things done a certain way, but it’s important to recognize that receiving some help is better than trying to do everything alone. Even if the assistance provided is not executed exactly as we would’ve done it, it can still be valuable, meet our needs, and offer support in its own way. 

It’s crucial to redefine our perspectives and evaluate how open we are to receiving help.

Of course, this doesn’t mean we have to accept every offer that comes our way, or settle for something that compromises our values and what we truly care about. However, when we make a clear request, and our needs are being addressed within the parameters we’ve established, we should honor and acknowledge the support being provided with an expression of gratitude.

I hope these contemplative ideas assist you in understanding your wants, examining your intentions, and developing trust in yourself and the Higher Forces at play. Consider what might be blocking you from placing trust in the Universe, and where you can let go of certain things.

Additionally, reflect on whether you’re asking for what you truly need, setting clear parameters for requesting assistance. Finally, assess your ability to receive help when it’s offered.

I sincerely hope that this helps you in effectively getting your needs met.

For a video version of, Healthy Relationships: How to Get Your Needs Met in Relationships and in Life, watch here:

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