Reconciling Polarities - Kim Marie Coaching

Reconciling Polarities

The Pain of Separation

One of the most challenging things we’re faced with as human beings is the reconciliation of polarities. 

The material world is filled with polarities, two extremes that seem to be in complete opposition to each other…light and dark, inner needs and outer demands, material limitations and spiritual freedom, and so many more. 

As human beings, we encounter these polarities both in the outer world, and within ourselves.

We can feel the tug-of-war between them…systems, beliefs, processes, and ideals at odds with opposing views in the outer world, and the same oppositions happening within our own being.

Sadly, these apparent polarities seem to have grown in complexity and number as our society succumbed to scientific reductionism, and a longing to predict and control. 

Answers are seen as the ultimate achievement, and in searching for answers through separation, we forget that what we’ve separated was once connected to a greater whole.

We feel this separation deep within our Soul, and it speaks to us through our longing for “something more” or “a better way” or that “something missing” that we know must be there, but feels so elusive.

We feel the pain of separation in our stories of being “not enough” or feeling we don’t belong.

In our pain, we search for meaning in the separated parts, only to feel more incomplete, inadequate, unclear and confused than ever. 

We must stop searching for answers and begin living in the questions.

The Healing Power of the Feminine

Part of being human is to recognize and reconcile the polarities within ourselves. 

To reconcile is to “make friendly again.” 

Reconciling is a task of the Feminine. 

While the Masculine is exceptional at separating things out and focusing on one element so as to fully know it, the unhealthy excessive masculine in our patriarchal dominance culture has taken that separation to an extreme, and our Souls are suffering in the soul-sickness that results.

We’ve forgotten how to reconcile differences and understand how the parts work together in union.

The Feminine brings the separated elements back together and helps us to understand the beauty and  interconnectedness of the whole. 

We’re being asked to awaken this Feminine capacity to reconcile polarities within ourselves so they may be reconciled collectively in the world.

The beauty of the Feminine is that it’s already within us. We don’t need to search outside of ourselves to do the work of finding our connectedness.

We have tools within us, inherent in our being and available for engaging in order to bring a Feminine balance to the current unhealthy Masculine.

Dancing the Tightrope

The Feminine is not about determining one view or extreme as being superior to another. 

We might imagine that the polarities we experience within us are like the ends of a tightrope, each holding the rope tightly with their steady position.

We as tight rope walkers are here to learn to dance between the extremes, and find the dynamic movement that allows for both to coexist in harmony with one another. 

The extremes in and of themselves are not the issue. The problem is that we’ve forgotten how to dance between them. 

Just as the Masculine riverbanks hold the Feminine flow of the river, so too do the extremes or polarities in life hold the space in which the Feminine can dance. 

With millennia of Feminine suppression combined with excessive Masculine reductionism, we’ve forgotten how to dance. 

As we remember the dance of the Feminine, we’re empowered to navigate effectively between life’s extremes with peace, love and wisdom.

3 Keys to Reconciling Polarities

If Masculine reductionism and separation is all about finding answers, then Feminine unification and connectedness can be found in asking questions.

When we are faced with the tension between polarities within us, we can turn to 3 main questions to ask of each side in order to find the place in which these extremes can be reconciled. 

Question 1: What Is True?

The mere fact that the polarities both seemingly exist before us is indicative of a truth within each of them. 

What can we find in each that rings true for us? 

Truth resonates deep in our bones. We feel it in the fiber of our being. It is not overanalyzed thinking, but clear thinking that shows us truth. We must be willing to set aside all preconceived ideas of what we thought we knew, be willing to venture into the unknown, and to explore what is true from many perspectives.

Question 2: What Is Beautiful?

There’s inevitably something beautiful in each extreme we’re presented with.

Perhaps the beauty is in the reason that extreme or polarity is being held to. Perhaps there is beauty in the timing of one extreme or another and its purpose for that time. 

Find the beauty in each, and begin to see its place within you.

Consider how you feel upon witnessing the beauty of a sunset, or of a newborn baby. Look for that feeling in each extreme…the beauty that makes your heart want to burst open with love.

Question 3: What Is Good?

Just as there’s something beautiful in each polarity we’re trying to reconcile, so too is there something good in each.

How does each polarity serve? In what ways has each extreme supported us in our lives? 

What’s each extreme doing in order to hold its end of the tightrope so firm and steady so that we can dance?

Finding the goodness in each polarity helps us to find gratitude for the ways in which they serve us and allow us to dance. 

The Beauty of Wholeness

The Sacred Feminine is constantly looking through the lens of Truth, Beauty and Goodness. In this way, all is acceptable, all is loved, all has wisdom to offer, and all is a valuable part of the whole. 

When we’re willing to dance the tightrope of the polarities and extremes we wrestle with inside of us, we’re strengthened to dance the tightrope of polarities present in the world around us.

When we learn to dance, we awaken our inner wisdom, and open to the Sacred Feminine seeking to rise and bring harmony and wellness to the current masculine excess and illness.

When the Sacred Feminine and the Sacred Masculine work in harmony with one another, we’re able to fully reconcile polarities and stories of separation, and to remember our individual and collective wholeness.

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