The Value of Coming Home to Your Soul - Kim Marie Coaching

The Value of Coming Home to Your Soul

“If more of us valued home above gold, it would be a merrier world.”

This is a quote from the end of the third of the Hobbit trilogy movies.  I hadn’t seen the movies until recently. My sons wanted me to watch the whole series with them, insisting that I’d love the story.  

While I had no doubt I’d enjoy the story, I was skeptical because I’d tried to watch the Lord of the Rings trilogy when it came out, but as a sensitive person, I struggled with the incessant battling in the films.  

However, over the years I’ve learned to see things more archetypally, and know how potent a good story can be to represent the Soul’s journey and the inner battles we face along the way. 

I’d read the Hobbit as a child, though I barely remembered it.  In the book by J.R.R. Tolkien, that same quote reads, “If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world.”

I won’t give away any spoilers for those who’ve not seen the films or read the books, though I’ll say that the quote is spoken to the Hobbit Bilbo Baggins in reference to his constant longing for home in the movie as he embarks on a transformational journey.  

As soon as I heard the words spoken, I gasped, and then I sobbed.  

While the quote is shared in a sad moment in the film, that’s not why I cried. 

What brought tears was my deep value of “home” and my even deeper longing for others to value home as much. I felt like I was hearing someone speak a deep truth that I’ve always believed, yet often felt alone in that belief. 

I somehow felt seen in that moment! 

Feeling Alone

When I say I often felt alone in my belief that valuing home would bring joy, I’m speaking of what felt like an incessant push for more/better/faster, a constant expectation to maintain the standards set by society, and a prevailing idea that “home” was not something to value in the feminist movement rising throughout my childhood. 

I felt as though it was not ok to settle for “enough,” and to instead always strive for something more.

It was not ok to question the establishment or speak one’s unique ideas.

It was not ok to prefer tending the home and family to rising in the corporate world as proof that women could have and do it all, just as men.

While I always had a certain amount of ambition to venture out into the world and find my own way, anything competitive tended to exhaust me. I sought expansion for my own growth and learning, rather than the “more/better/faster” that so many around me seemed to encourage.

I longed to explore new ideas, challenge old paradigms, and question the establishment. Yet this was frowned upon and often chastised.  

I loved the idea of women having an open door to choose what they wanted for their lives, yet didn’t understand why so many considered “just being a housewife or homemaker” as being insufficient toward the cause of women’s empowerment. After all, one of the places I’ve always believed women have the power to effect immense change is in the home.  

I valued home, and felt like the world around me valued anything but home.  

What Is Home?

I feel it’s important to define what home means to me in this exploration, and encourage you to define what home means to you. 

I believe home likely means something different to every individual. There’s no single definition of what home is and the value it may have for people. 

A more formal definition of home speaks of home as a dwelling place or place of being settled.

Where do you feel “at home”? 

What makes you feel most settled in your being?  

Where do you prefer to dwell, or what do you dwell upon?

These are questions I ask myself all the time, and notice my answers to them changing as I change and move through my Soul’s journey. 

In my youth and inexperience, I thought I knew what kind of home I wanted. Only in my years of experience moving to many places, working many jobs, exploring many relationships, and getting to know myself did I finally begin to have a sense of what home means to me.  

For me, home is a mix of many things working together to create a sense of safety, sovereignty, and connection, which might include:

  • A physical dwelling place that feels nurturing, safe and beautiful
  • A community of friends and relations that welcome my authentic expression and gifts, and share themselves authentically with me
  • A sense of peace and solace within myself that comes out of clear thinking, emotional mastery, and alignment with the will of my Soul’s true destiny
  • A free flow of creative expression contained in a safe structure of protection, i.e. a balance of Sacred Feminine and Sacred Masculine working harmoniously in my life
  • A sense of well-being that allows for my Soul to inhabit a strong, healthy, vibrant and energetic body, and for that body to inhabit my Soul
  • A strong connection to Mother Earth and to Great Spirit, inviting their Wisdom and Love to dwell within the center of my being, and accepting their invitation to dwell within the center of theirs
  • A sense of trust in myself and my place in the Greater Cosmos

These are the things I value deeply. They are “home” for me.

These qualities in my life and within me are what make me feel most settled. 

What Do You Value?

The quote from the movie speaks of valuing “home above gold” in order for the world to be a more joyful place. 

The loneliness I spoke of earlier refers to witnessing so many valuing “gold” more than home. 

The preference for gold over home has us believing we must be more/better/faster. 

The fear of losing or being kept from gold keeps us from questioning or being questioned about the status quo and exploring new possibilities. 

Success defined monetarily keeps us from believing that our work in the home is just as, perhaps even more, valuable as any career climbing a corporate ladder or material object. 

Worthiness defined by “being liked” or “fitting in” keeps us from expressing our uniqueness.

We chase after the “gold” of not only money or material posessions, but also fitting in, being accepted, achieving status, not upsetting the apple cart, avoiding risk, keeping others happy, meeting expectations, etc.

We learn to value according to societal norms, expectations and rules, rather than our Soul’s longings.

We forget what home means to us, as we journey out in search of gold. 

We become Soul-sick on this journey to find the gold “out there,” when the true gold we seek is at home within our Soul.

A More Joyful World

I believe with all my heart that as we find and value “home above gold,” we can indeed experience the joy we seek. 

The beauty of home, even as the good witch Glenda said to Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz, is that it’s been within us all along. 

Home is within you. 

Your Soul knows home.

Your Inner Wisdom knows home.

We’ve simply been taught to seek it outside of ourselves.  

Current times are calling us back to Soul. 

We’re being asked to remember who we truly are, what home is to us uniquely, and how to find ourselves at home in the greater world. 

Healing the Soul-sickness we’ve all been infected with to varying degrees is key to finding and valuing home, and thus experiencing the sense of joy and fulfillment we all seek. 

Home will not be found chasing gold. 

This is not to say that we cannot enjoy a wonderful career, enjoying life’s many pleasures, or expanding into more of who we truly are. 

Our joy will be found in what we value, rather than what we seek. 

Remembering who we are and what we deeply value allows us to feel at home on every step of our Soul’s journey through life. 

Therein lies the true gold.

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