How Do You Define Yourself? - Kim Marie Coaching

How Do You Define Yourself?

How do you define yourself? 

This is actually a really important question. We’re going to explore how you might be defining yourself and the ways that defining yourself could be a trap. 

How Do We Define Ourselves?

First of all, most of us define ourselves by the roles we play.

If we’re at a party, and someone asks you, “Who are you?” or “What do you do?” we talk about the position we have. “I have a business,” or “I manage a team,” or “I’m a mom,” or “I’m a wife to so and so,” or whatever it is. This is how we tend to answer the question.

Those definitions can become very encapsulating. They box us in. They limit us to the roles that we play, and we start defining ourselves. The more we say, “I’m so and so’s mom,” or “I’m so and so’s wife,” or “I’m so and so’s boss,” or “I do this,” or “I have this role,” the less we think about who we really are. 

That definition may be slightly different for everyone. We’re all unique beings and it’s not going to be  normal or maybe even acceptable to go to a party and say “Oh, who am I? Well I am a divine being of creative gifts here on this planet Earth.” We’re not talking about trying to go there.

What I want to do is bring attention to this idea of the limiting ways in which we define ourselves which might also include things like, “I’m not good at this or that.” 

Let’s look first at what it means to define something.

Empowered Definition

To define, by definition, means to establish authoritatively. 

So who’s the author of your life?

Who’s the authority in your life?

You get to decide. Not society, not the culture, not someone else, not what’s acceptable. You get to decide who you are. You get to define yourself because you are the authority on you.

When we define something, we state its significance. 

Another definition of what it means to define is “to limit completely.”

If we stick to our preconceived, boxed-in, encapsulated definitions of ourselves, maybe based on society, based on what we’re used to, based on the old stories that we have, then we can “limit completely” who we are.

What I want to invite here is the opportunity to constantly redefine yourself or to even ask the question: 

Are you definable?

What If We Are Undefinable?

What if we are undefinable?

What if we as women, even as human beings, each of us unique in our own way, are completely undefinable? 

That’s the concept I want to bring today in this article, the idea that:

If you’re struggling to define yourself, you might want to consider all the ways in which you’re not definable. 

In fact, that’s one of the qualities of the Sacred Feminine. She can’t be put in a box. She can’t be defined. 

It’s also one of the aspects of the Soul. Our Soul language is so nebulous. It’s so all over the place. It can be very difficult to communicate Soul experiences to other people because they tend to be undefinable.

Dreams are a way in which our Soul speaks to us.

How often do we struggle to understand our dreams or explain the dream to someone else?

Is Soul language and the essence of our being undefinable?

In this human existence, we might be a mother, a manager, business owners, a friend, a wife, a partner, and that’s all fine. I’m not saying that’s a problem. 

What I’m saying is that too often we don’t explore how we define ourselves, or who’s defining us.

If we are even definable in any particular way, we don’t allow the definition of our being to expand, to grow, to change. 

We are dynamic beings, constantly changing. 

Even when I talk about aligning with and being true to our most empowered self, our True Nature is not something static. It’s not some pinnacle moment. 

We are always in cycles, always growing, always developing, ebbing, flowing, climbing the mountain, going into the valley. This dynamism is such a part of our being.

Even our True Nature is evolving and growing.

We discover in one moment our True Nature. Then, as we continue to learn, excavate, and uncover more of ourselves, we realize, “Well, this is really our True Nature.  This is who we’re knowing ourselves to be.”

We get to redefine ourselves. We get to reinvent ourselves. We get to reclaim ourselves,  rebirth ourselves again and again through this process of remembering who we are, reconnecting to our true values, reenvisioning new possibilities, and ultimately rebirthing ourselves into those possibilities.

You can learn more on my Solace page which describes my solace program and our ongoing process of unfolding and evolving.

We’re going through the cycle no matter what. You can start anywhere in the cycle, but just like learning to read and write, sometimes you want to learn the ABCs before you can make words and sentences and put them into a particular format. Sometimes we learn in linear ways, but that doesn’t mean that the journey, the process, or the experience is linear in any way.

Just like defining ourselves should not be linear, boxed in, or clear cut, we want to be able to evolve and grow. 

How do you define yourself? 

What do you see as new possibilities for defining yourself?

Share in the comments, and share this with others. Let’s follow this path of empowerment together. 

For a video version about How Do You Define Yourself, watch here:

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