In the epic tale of Parzival by Wolfram von Eschenbach, Parzival sets out on a journey. This journey is an archetypal journey of the soul. He reaches the Grail Castle, but is unable to connect with the Holy Grail because he fails to ask the most important question of the Grail King. “What ails thee?”
What if you thought of your soul as your own Grail Keeper?
What would your soul say if you were to ask it, “What ails thee?”
Perhaps it would go something like this:
I am hurting for all of the ignoring and neglect.
So many times I’ve begged for you to heart me, to listen to my cries. Yet you paid attention to other things instead. You cared more about what others thought and wanted than about what I thought or longed for.
You sold me out for so called acceptance. You left me alone while you indulged in your destructive habits. You banished me with your negativity, hurtful words, and thoughts.
Why? Why have I not mattered? Why has my longing not mattered to you?
You say you’ve longed for acceptance, to be seen and heard, yet you don’t see or hear your own soul. You press on as if all is ok, all the while knowing it is not.
And why not? Why is it that things never seem to be ok or enough?
Because you left me behind. You ignored me. You even betrayed me.
Did you know that your body and emotions are my messengers?
I speak through your emotions, yet how often have you stuffed them down because it was inconvenient or deemed inappropriate to feel them?
I speak through your body, yet how often have you pushed your body to its limits, ignoring its need for rest, activity, love or connection?
What does it take for you to see and hear me?
How intense do the ailments in your body or the pangs of your emotions have to get?
You are not your work, your family, your house, your role as parent, friend, caregiver, lover. You are not your ambitions, desires or longings. You are not the challenges you face or the worries and concerns you stew over. You are not what the culture deems you should be, or what others project onto you.
You are beauty. You are pure creative genius. You are love!
These things you already are. You don’t need to find them. You don’t need to figure them out or cultivate them. You only need to be them.
How do you be them?
Stop trying to be everything else.
Stop trying to fit into a mold when there is no mold for you. The mold for each and every soul is broken upon its creation.
You are free to express as the full creative, loving, beautiful being that you are, but you won’t access her as long as you keep “trying” instead of “being.”
Listen to your body. What does she need?
Water? Rest? Touch? Activity? Perhaps she just needs your loving attention and celebration. Perhaps she needs gratitude and reverence for all the ways she serves you.
Can you honor her as she is? Can you love her right here, right now?
Feel your emotions. What are they saying to you?
What within you is unresolved? Are there emotions that need tending? Traumas that need addressing? Experiences that need digesting? Integrate them. Let them be a part of you. Let them guide you to become more and more of who you truly are. Reconnect to the parts of you that have been forgotten due to all of the stuffed away messages that were never fully received.
When you remember who you are and reconnect to what matters, a whole new vision for your life comes to the fore.
What once seemed impossible becomes possible.
And here’s a special hint: You cannot connect with a new vision or future if you have not connected with and embraced ALL of yourself, right now, as is.
Embrace and love yourself in all of your glory and all of your pain, all of your gifts and all of your short comings, all of your light and all of your shadow.
You will forever chase “enough” or “worthiness” if you cannot embrace who you are in this moment. In this moment, you are worthy, whole, beautiful, powerful. In this moment, you are enough!
These words of the soul speak to the ailments of our humanity. The soul is representative of the Sacred Feminine. We as a humanity have neglected Her. We have betrayed Her.
Yet, She is there, rising up, waiting for us to notice. The ailments, the emotions, the systems and processes that no longer serve us…they are all there to inspire us to connect with Her.
There is much out there about all of the tools, techniques, methods and processes that are available to transform you, to awaken you.
You need nothing but this moment. This very moment will bring transformation if you let it.
Take a moment to feel your Soul. Listen to Her. Dialogue with Her. Love Her.
It’s not easy when we’ve neglected Her for so long, but like a devoted parent waiting patiently for the return of Her prodigal child, She is waiting to give you the life that you came here to live.
Share with me…What ails thee dear beautiful Soul?
Awaken Your Inner Power,